team sleep

A delicious new discovery - with connection to what I may at times call a 'guilty pleasure'; the music I was obsessed with in my 'youth', yet still crank hard when I need some good heavy dark shit! Am I ashamed in some way that at times I just love me some hardcore dark and dirty scream-fest tunes??

Team Sleep is an experimental electronic/rock group led by Deftones singer/guitarist Chino Moreno. (Yum ~ slight crush!) Their music explores many genres; a kind of dream pop/trip hop/post-hardcore/shoegaze/electronica....just have a listen and hear for yourselves... of course I will have to add a few of my fav Deftones tracks just for good measure :-) xoxox

Team Sleep - Formant

Teamsleep - Ever

Team Sleep - I'm Yours Tonight (Machine Lovers Remix)

and now for some Deftones.... are you prepared?

Deftones - Digital Bath

Deftones - Rx Queen

Deftones - Diamond Eyes

Chino Moreno....dunno what it is about him but....oh....


persistence in the face of....

This post has been waiting to be written for quite some time, however I have been brewing over words and ways, only now realising what it actually is that's bothering me and what it actually is that I want to say......

Lately I have been questioning this core desire within me to CREATE; Where does it come from? What does it mean to me? What do I do want to do with it? Where do I want it to take me?

I have been creating, making, painting, drawing and crafting my whole life. 
It has been an integral part of my very being since I was a small child; a life built from tackle boxes full of beads and wire and shells and feathers that I stowed away under my bed; of diaries and folders full of drawings and ideas; of painted murals and crazy little sketches; of poems and messages on my bedroom walls; of hand-painted and cut up shirts and shoes, and of weird little obsessive photo collages, layering images and objects to decorate the walls of my haven - just to mention a few of my child/teenhood 'outlets'.

When I was a kid, all I thought about was making things 'pretty' (well.....pretty to ME!) - I was FOREVER decorating and changing around my room, (and I don't mean like painting the walls pink and buying new furniture - I mean that from a young age I would turn up my music and build nest-like caves out of vintage sheets hung from safety pins and fishing lines, taking the legs off my bed to make a 'futon', making tables and shelves out of beer crates and weaving lamp shades out of driftwood). This 'alteration' habit is one that I still have today and I think is core to my own creative process.

There were so many strange little projects that I undertook in the safety of my own room, but it is not until now that I have really started to question what purpose my own creativity is intended for.

I guess going to 'art-school' was probably the largest catalyst in my life for questioning my own processes. Constantly reflecting and questioning and JUSTIFYING every damn thing we did was probably what actually starved me of any genuine creative life-force I had. I love some of the stuff that I made while there, but, at times all the explaining really did suck the joy out of making!! Afterwards, completely messed up by the total obliteration of my own personal crafts, I began to create these weird little cartoon-like illustrations - purely moving towards the aesthetic and further away from anything remotely conceptual. This was quite a contrast to the "Art" (....hmmmph.... those are some HUGE air quotes there) that I had been cornered into creating at school (by school I mean like tech or university).

But now, nearly 10 years after this change in purpose, I've been questioning my motives. What is the purpose behind the art I make now? Have I become stuck in the aesthetic, or could my art be taken seriously? Am I able to make people think when they view my work? 
Or is my job simply to beautify, rather than to question or explain....?

I guess the big question is - Why do I make stuff? 
Because I want to make beautiful things for the people I love. When they look at my work I want them to feel beautiful and special and magical and decadent and chosen. I want my love to spill over onto them every time they use it / look at it / wear it / lie on it..... I want all of the things that inspire me to inspire others - those things that make my toes curl and speak to me of wondrous places, people, times and spaces.

I might just add here, that my writing is not by any means refined; I realise that this post is not rounded out or resolved in any way - I just wanted to throw these thoughts out there and see what may (or may not) come back.... 

While browsing for others thoughts about this I discovered this article from 'Greater Good: The Science of a Meaningful Life'. An interesting read on Why We Make Art for those of you who may be thinking along the same lines.
What do you think about this topic? If you are a maker, why do YOU create? What is the backbone that carries you from one piece to the next? What philosophy do you tie to your making? I would love to hear ideas and thoughts about this subject. 


to make the heart soar.....

beautiful excerpts from the poetry of e.e. cummings

.......here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart.........
(from 'i carry your heart with me')

......i will wade out
till my thighs are steeped in burning flowers
I will take the sun in my mouth
and leap into the ripe air
with closed eyes
to dash against darkness.....
(from "i will wade out")

........who'll solve the depths of horror to defend
a sunbeam's architecture with his life:
and carve immortal jungles of despair
to hold a mountain's heartbeat in his hand.........
(e.e. cummings, selected poems 1923-58)

i have found what you are like the rain
(Who feathers frightened fields with the superior dust-of-sleep. wields easily the pale club of the wind and swirled justly souls of flower strike
the air in utterable coolness deeds of green thrilling light
with thinned new fragile yellows
lurch and press —in the woods which stutter and sing And the coolness of your smile is stirring of birds between my arms; but i should rather than anything have (almost when hugeness will shut quietly) almost,
your kiss

(from 'i have found what you are like')


tee treats...

Ordered from Threadless tonight - some delightful Tee treats - much deserved for holidaying pleasure! Yeeeeus!

Tee #1

Tee #2

Waiting for packages = so much fun and anticipation! WooHooooo! :-)


Tunes #7 - Dark Beats....

...tunes for spooky contemplative introverted darkness...

Fever Ray

'Keep The Streets Empty For Me'

 Beautifully hypnotic track from the ever atmospheric Karin Dreijer Andersson (quite obviously of The Knife vocal fame) Her solo project under the name Fever Ray.

Chelsea Wolfe 


Is it the history of darkness and punkness ~ the music i loved in my youth, that speaks to me when i hear this track - it just folds over me like black night.... 
....check the album version here;



"Ask For"

Filmed in a Danish forest two hours outside of Copenhagen ~ this video... these beats... 
......visual and aural mastery....
 also check


yummy soul goodness...

Black Bean Fiesta Burgers with Cilantro Fiesta Slaw

I made these a coupla weekends ago for my lovely friend Eve to celebrate her finishing her uni exams for the term. With my homemade aioli and a few 'minor' changes to the recipe it was an ABSOLUTELY KICKASS jaw dropper of a dinner (if I do say so myself) !! 
Soooooo delicious on grunty whole wheat toasted buns with massive chunky slices of tomato and avocado ~ mmmmmmmmm.... (insert Homer Simpson style drooling HERE)
(Recipe altered from http://kblog.lunchboxbunch.com/2011/04/black-bean-fiesta-veggie-burgers-slaw.html)

Just look at these puppies....
....oooohhh yeeeeaaaaaahhhhh.... 
(was that sleazy enough for you??)

Black Bean Fiesta Burgers
(apparently makes 5 burgers but I managed to make 10 smaller ones!)

10 whole wheat burger buns (or any other buns of your choice!)
1 1/2 cups black beans (1 can), drained and rinsed
3 Tbsp fine bread crumbs (probably need a bit more as the kumara is quite sticky!)
3/4 cup baked/mashed kumara (sweet potato)
3 Tbsp chopped cilantro - including stems
1/3 cup finely diced red onion
1 tsp chopped garlic
3/4 tsp salt
1 tsp black pepper
2 Tbsp olive oil
2 Tbsp citrus juice

1. First off, whip up your homemade Aioli and refrigerate (see recipe below).
2. Prepare the Fiesta Slaw (see recipe below) - Chill in fridge until ready to add to burgers.
3. Next up, prepare the patties. Mash the kumara separately and pulse all the other ingredients in a food processor - don't pulp completely as you want your black beans to still be recognisable! Tip out of processor into a bowl and mix in the kumara. Next, hand-form burger patties with the mixture and place them on a lightly greased baking sheet. I flattened my patties onto a platter of breadcrumbs - on both sided so that they have nice crispy edges. Yum!!
4. Bake your burgers at 190 degrees celsius for 30-40 minutes (they will still look kinda soggy on the tray but they firm up once out of the oven). Cool for a few minutes before assembling burgers. The last 5 minutes of cooking - add your burger buns to the oven to warm/toast them.

Annabel Langbein Aioli
I make this as a half batch to save on eggs and oil!! Can get costly with a whole batch... 

2 egg yolks
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper
1/4 tsp sugar
1/8 cup lemon juice
1/4 tsp lemon rind
1 1/2 crushed garlic

With motor running, slowly add 1 cup of oil. I use Alpha One Rice Bran Oil. Once all mixed together, I add warm water to thin it out - makes it last longer and I love to drizzle it over salads etc! Best ever!!

Cilantro Fiesta Slaw
makes about 4 cups

1 1/2 cups red cabbage, shredded
1 cup carrot, thinly sliced (original recipe used Jicama, which I don't think we have in NZ but carrot was sweet as anyways as a replacement!)
1/2 cup diced orange or shredded mandarin
1/4 cup red onion, sliced into fine rings - give them a rinse first so they're not so strong
1/2 tsp citrus zest (I prefer lime!)
2 Tbsp jalapeno, diced (de-seeded)
3 Tbsp extra virgin olive oil
2 tbsp pumpkin and sunflower seeds (Toasted or untoasted? Your choice)
3 Tbsp lime juice
1 cup cilantro (stems and leaves), chopped (otherwise know as coriander!)
salt and pepper to taste

1. Prep all your veggies – I used my classic retro orange Borner-V slicer to shred my cabbage and slice my carrot. Add rinsed, red onion rings.
2. Combine all the ingredients in a large mixing bowl – toss well. Customize the moisture-level of your slaw – to ‘wet’ your slaw a bit more, add in extra citrus juice. Salt and pepper slaw to taste.
3. Chill in fridge until ready to be served.  

4. Assemble those burgers! Warm bun, spread of aioli, tomato, avocado, burger pattie and fiesta slaw!! Amen!!
Serve and enjoy the wild fiesta in your mouth!